This jackal is an architect who builds you up like a conniving engineer,
In awe by its design you cannot understand why you feel so queer.
Although you have found something new to fear,
Your old thoughts refuse to disappear.
You have changed your habits but your mind is not yet here.
Regrets are loud yelling obscenities into your ear;
“When you die you are not worth even the shadow of a tear.”
So you beat yourself up until you feel ready to down another beer.
When will it end? When will your conscious be clear?
A day, a week, a month, a year?
You need to find a friend, a true peer.
Someone who will not leave you and who is always near.
Someone who drives you and takes the wheel when you cannot steer.
Someone who will not judge you and who will not sneer.
Someone who will covet you like a precious souvenir.
Is that someone God? Is it to Her will to which you should adhere?
To allow Her to be present, so you are no longer cavalier?
Forge uncharted territory on this new frontier,
Bravely trudge through this tempest that has become too severe,
And others will follow you for you are a pioneer.
With a soul that reflects the light your beauty is sincere,
But you have been hanging yourself and you are fragile, you are a chandelier.
In need of a new seat to sit on with a fresh new veneer.
You will pay handsomely, but where is the auctioneer?
The one who sells happiness, the one who sells cheer,
You are done feeling hopeless, it is time for change and you will persevere.
You will stay on course if you hold your compass dear.
by Joel Santos (Joel is a Direct Care Associate Supervisor @ The Augustine